I haven’t felt like writing lately. I haven’t felt like thinking too much or probing into what I’m feeling. Once a week in therapy is enough right now. What I want is distractions… anything to take my mind off the grief and the pain, to forget for a little while.

I’m not journaling, I’m not blogging… I’m not even writing in my gratitude journal every day. I’m spending less time on my suicide survivors message board and more time playing mindless games on Facebook. Distracting myself, hiding from reality.

For three days I distracted myself looking for my brother’s cat, Sully, who got lost while they were visiting me. Sully has been gone since Saturday night and still hasn’t turned up, and my heart is heavy about that. Not such a good distraction, come to think of it.

Every evening I call my mom at the nursing home, where she’s staying since being discharged from the hospital. It looks like they’ll be ready to send her home by the middle of next week, and I’m driving out to Arizona to spend a week with her then. I’m looking forward to that. Company will be nice. Someone to talk to, watch TV and play Scrabble with.

Meanwhile, I have plans for tomorrow night. I’m going out with friends to see a show, listen to some music, drink some wine. And that sounds like the perfect distraction.


~ by hourbeforedawn on May 13, 2010.

3 Responses to “Distractions”

  1. I’m all for distractions. I can tell when I’ve had enough of the world – I start reading trashy chick lit, obsessively. So we all have tricks for avoiding ourselves. And we all need breaks from ourselves – some more than others, with really legit reasons. What I’ve found is the big trick is to know when to put the book down (in my case) and get back to my life. I’m confident you’ll know when…

  2. ditto everything kerstin said. i’m praying for you honeybunny.

  3. Distractions are fine for as long as you need them. You don’t need to always analyze your thoughts and feelings right now, and if any distractions help with the pain, then I say that’s what you need right now.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: