Back to reality

My nomad summer draws to a close. Thursday I returned from the last of my road trip vacations, a wonderful week with friends in Las Vegas.

I spent quality time with my best friend, drinking and dancing and laughing and talking until 4:00 a.m. or later… and remembering all the reasons WHY she’s my best friend. After almost three months apart, we needed that time to reconnect. We danced with college boys and Elvis impersonators. We had an amazing meal at a gourmet restaurant, then sipped cocktails at the Fontana Bar in the Bellagio while we watched the fountain show. I also enjoyed a lot of live music, hung out with my musician friends, and spent hours talking with another good friend.

I got on the freeway home with Sheryl Crow’s “Leaving Las Vegas” on the stereo and immediately started to cry. I didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to let go of the fantasy and go back to living in reality.

Yesterday was a very stressful day. The turn signals on my car started malfunctioning while I was in Vegas, and stopped working altogether on the drive home, so I took my car in to the shop. They can’t get the required part until Monday… but I have to be in Los Angeles on Monday for a job interview. When I found out that someone had lifted my credit card number while I was in Vegas, so I had to cancel the card and didn’t even have a credit card to use to rent a car, I had a meltdown. Half a Xanax and a three-hour nap later, I was still in a major funk. Everything felt so hard, so discouraging. I started doubting whether I was ready to go on job interviews, whether I was really ready to resume my life in Los Angeles.

Today has been a better day. After a good night’s sleep, the depression had lifted this morning. I found a way to rent a car, did my laundry, started packing my suitcase… In short, I just got on with what needed to be done. While running errands in my mom’s car, I found myself singing along to the radio.

Maybe reality’s not so bad after all.


~ by hourbeforedawn on September 18, 2010.

One Response to “Back to reality”

  1. I know how you feel…if one more thing lands on my plate I may just explode! I just wish he was here to fix it all! I have never learned how to do certain things without him Or having him take care of certain things! Goodness… I don’t even know how to turn on the blue ray player or which remote does what! Guess it is time to learn the hard way! Your upbeat personality gives me hope that happiness is possible and there are times certain situations will remind us of our loved ones. It will hurt for a few minutes but we can’t bring them back…. no matter how hard I pray for him to return he isn’t coming home!

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