Homeward Bound

Well, the time has come. Tomorrow morning I load up my car and drive back to California, this time to stay.

Thanks to a friend who offered to rent me her guest room for a few weeks, I don’t have to worry about finding a place to live until I get a job. And this afternoon I got a great lead on a possible contract position. It feels like everything is falling into place… like the stars are finally aligned for my return home.

My emotions have been all over the map today. I was singing while I packed my suitcases and practically danced around the room when I got the call about the possible job. But disassembling my altar, carefully packing away the special items that embody my memories of Mike, was bittersweet… and I was surprised to find myself in tears at the realization that I won’t be back here with my mom until Christmas. This has been my home, my safe haven, for almost four months. I needed this time to be where I know I’m safe and loved, to fill my head with new pictures. I’m ready to go back to LA, to make a new home and a new life there… but at times it’s a little overwhelming.

That Simon and Garfunkel song has been running through my head all day. “… and all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity, like emptiness in harmony. I need someone to comfort me…”

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~ by hourbeforedawn on October 20, 2010.

One Response to “Homeward Bound”

  1. GOOD LUCK! We are praying for your success and discovering your new normal.

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