Dancing with trust

My brother is visiting and he’s a big fan of those dancing shows on TV. While we were waiting for the season finale of “Dancing With the Stars” to come on, he showed me a clip from a previous season on YouTube. It was Kelly Osbourne and her partner dancing to the song “Angels” by Robbie Williams. Halfway through it, I started to cry. When it was over, I struggled to find words for what had moved me.

“It’s the trust,” I finally said. “The absolute trust she has in her partner, even when her elbow is six inches off the floor and it looks like he’s about to drop her. I didn’t know she could dance like that. And she didn’t know she could do that either, you could see it in her smile at the end.”

It got to me because I recognized the look I saw in her face, the delight in discovering your body can do things you didn’t know it could do… the realization that you are graceful and beautiful and sexy. I learned those things about myself through dancing.

And it got to me because I trusted someone that way once, with absolute faith that he would never let me fall. But now he’s gone, and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to trust like that again.

I thought my love would be enough to hold him up. I thought my love could ease the pain, could fix what was broken in him. It wasn’t. It couldn’t. Nothing could. I’m sorry, baby. This is for you…

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~ by hourbeforedawn on November 23, 2010.

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